


That's Garland For Ya': A Hallmark Parody

by caelestisxyz



Category: Hallmark - Fandom
Genre: Disgusting Christmas themed smut, Dubious Consent, Hallmark parody, M/M, Mild Humor, Omegaverse, Original Characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 17:32:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13058781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caelestisxyz/pseuds/caelestisxyz
Summary: A successful businessman leaves his high paying job to move to a small town where he meets...Think of every Hallmark movie you've ever seen and that's what this is except it has a twist to it!





	That's Garland For Ya': A Hallmark Parody

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the_madame21](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_madame21/gifts).



> Happy Birthday, MadameMalfoy21!! I hope you enjoy this badly written Hallmark parody that I wrote just for you. Dude, I'm sure no one is going to read this but that's okay because it's just for you!!! <3

Heaving a heavy sigh, Kuramen sits his luggage on the floor and then places his hands on his hips as he takes in his new apartment. Although it's nothing like his New York sky rise, it's good enough considering the circumstances. He had to trade in his position at New York City's most prestigious hospital for a smaller position at a tiny, hole in the wall of a medical clinic in Poinsettia, Pennsylvania.

Kuramen was immediately drawn to the town's collective obsession with Christmas. Seeing that Christmas is his most favorite time of the year it only seemed right to flee here after an embarrassing situation with his ex-boyfriend. (His ex-boyfriend didn't propose despite them being together for a whole two months. The shame was far too much for Kuramen's fragile heart~)

Kuramen is in the middle of unpacking when he hears a knock at his door. Adjusting his red, Cashmere sweater, the omega hums a popular Christmas hymn to himself as he skips to the door.

Opening it, he's met by a rugged alpha with intense, golden eyes.

"Someone call for a driver?" the stranger asks.

Kuramen has to steady himself as not to appear as thirsty as he already is. "That would be me," he says not as charming as he would've hoped, "I called for someone to give me a tour of the town."

The stranger invites himself into Kuramen's apartment; his large stature is comical in the small foyer. Kuramen feels intimidated in the man's presence due to his smaller, slender frame. A man like that could rip him in half if he wanted to...

"The population is only 120," says the stranger, "Ain't much for you to see."

Kuramen knew that. He just has a terrible sense of direction no matter how small the town. But he'll get back to that later as there is something else that requires his attention.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name." Kuramen extends his hand. "My name is Kuramen Thottermen. It's a pleasure to meet you!"

"Hozumi Homewrecker," he says, taking Kuramen's hand into his own, "The pleasure is all mine." He kisses the omega on the back of the hand.

That one kiss sends shivers down Kuramen's spine, and the alpha notices. Nervously, Kuramen walks further into the apartment.

"Since you're here do you mind helping me with something?"

Hozumi closes the front door. Kuramen misses how the alpha quickly locks the door, as well.

"Sure thing," Hozumi says.

Kuramen gestures toward the large Christmas tree in the corner. "I can't get it to stay up."

The alpha grimaces at the sight of the decorated tree. "Don't tell me that you're also Christmas obsessed."

"I simply adore Christmas!" Kurman sings dramatically, "It's the most wonderful time of the year!"

Hozumi groans. "It's an overrated day that people celebrate all month long, that's it. The Christmas spirit is bullshit. Overall, I think the holiday is boring."

Kuramen gasps. "Boring?" He raises his hand to his chest. "How can you say such a thing? There's nothing boring about Christmas!"

"Name something fun about it."

"Christmas caroling!"

"Boring."

"Making gingerbread houses."

"Boring."

"Christmas parties."

Hozumi makes a loud snoring sound.

Huffing under his breath, Kuramen settles his hands on his hips. "You've never been shown a good time during the Christmas holiday, obviously. Luckily, I'm here to change that!"

The alpha smirks. "You're going to show me a good time?"

Kuramen is thinking about watching Christmas movies and eating sweets but he has a feeling that Hozumi has something else in mind. He watches the alpha walk over to the kitchen counter where a roll of leftover red ribbon is. Picking it up, Hozumi begins to unravel it.

"What are you doing?" Kuramen asks warily.

"Tell you what," Hozumi says, "make this worth my while and I'll reconsider my views on Christmas."

"I don't know what you're implying but whatever it is, I'm not going along with it!"

Kuramen turns his back to Hozumi is that is his biggest mistake, yet. The alpha presses behind him, his erection rubbing the curve of the omega's ass. Before Kuramen can move an inch, his hands are forced behind his back and bound with the red ribbon.

"Let me go!" Kuramen shouts, struggling feebly against the alpha's hold.

Hozumi combs his fingers through the omega's hair, yanking his head back. "Not until you convince me that Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year," he whispers.

This isn't what Kuramen expected, especially not during the first day of his arrival to Poinsettia, Pennsylvania. Hozumi forcibly strips him of his clothing, even going so far as to rip his shirt off.

The alpha forces Kuramen to his knees, his heavy scent filling the omega's nostrils, _raping his senses_. Kuramen is dripping slick long before Hozumi shoves his thick cock down his throat. He has to widen his mouth to its limits to accommodate the alpha's girth. Even then, it's still too much for him. Hozumi holds the sides of the omega's head as he fucks his mouth, the sound of Kuramen gurgling spit and precum is like the best Christmas hymn ever. Easing his cock out, Hozumi gives the omega a small reprieve. He rubs the head along the seam of Kuramen's lips as a glob of spit rolls down his chin.

"More," Kuramen whimpers, his true colors shining through,  "Gimme' more, _alpha_."

Grinning, Hozumi rams his cock back into the omega's tight throat, bringing tears to Kuramen's eyes. The omega's face is redder than Rudolph's nose and the alpha finds that hilarious.

A pool of slick accumulates on the hardwood floor. Seizing the omega by the neck, Hozumi turns him around, and shoves his head in it, encouraging him to taste himself. While Kuramen laps up his own slick, Hozumi grabs more ribbon and a pair of reindeer antlers from the kitchen counter. Placing the antlers on Kuramen's head, he proceeds to hogtie the omega. Every time Kuramen moves, the bell on his antlers rattle.

Kissing the omega's temple, Hozumi ties a red and white, striped bow around his slender neck. "Good boy," Hozumi praises, "How does it taste?"

Kuramen licks up the last drops of slick. Turning his head, he kisses Hozumi, transferring the taste to the alpha's mouth. The kiss is sloppy with more tongue than lip. Ending the kiss, Hozumi moves behind Kuramen and eases his cock inside the omega's warm, wet, body. Not giving Kuramen a chance to adjust, Hozumi picks up his pace and fucks the omega hard enough to make his teeth rattle. The rattling bell can be heard over the sound of Kuramen's loud screams.

Hozumi is like a machine. He fucks the omega nonstop for what feels like hours. Kuramen has never, ever, been fucked this good by anyone. He's already feeling like a slave to Hozumi's cock. Whatever the alpha wants, he'll do it so long as he keeps fucking him like this. Hell, he'd even renounce Christmas as the best holiday in existence if that was what it took. 

When Hozumi finally does release there's so much of it. He leaves Kuramen on the floor for a bit, tied up, gasping for air, and his destroyed ass leaking semen. Kuramen thinks that Hozumi is going to leave him there so he's pleasantly surprised when the alpha, not only unties him but cleans him as well. They're snuggled up in the bed when Kuramen decides to ask...

"Do you still hate Christmas?"

Hozumi smirks. "I think I may have had a change of heart. But there are seven days left until Christmas. That gives you more than enough time to fully convince me."

Kuramen's insides quiver in anticipation. He can't wait to have his ass wrecked all over again. Isn't that what the holidays are all about? 

 

**_fin._ **

**Author's Note:**

> Wife! I really hope you enjoy your first gift!! Happy Birthday again!! Enjoy your day!! <3  
> Btw, this was really fun to write!


End file.
